Growing Up Sister
by meganechan720
Summary: What if Venus had grown up with the 2003 turtles? There would be less awkward flirting, for starters. A Stealthy Stories challenge.
1. venus de milo, kunoichi

_Many thanks to Oddstuffs over on Deviantart for making the cover art for this story. You rock, girl!_

* * *

Venus' eyes widened as she read the words on the screen, feeling a brief flare of anger and betrayal. She stifled it quickly. This couldn't be right. Surely the words of her sensei were more trustworthy than words on a computer, despite her brother Donatello's love for the thing. She didn't usually want anything to do with it, but she had homework, and that had been Donnie's main selling point to Splinter for getting a computer and hooking it up to the internet in the first place. And so one brother spent hours in delight at the expense of his four siblings' pain and suffering. Venus quickly closed out of the page and emptied the cache (she didn't like the computer, but she wasn't _stupid_). She would ask him. She would do it right now.

The young girl turned around to look and see who might be in the room with her. One of Splinter's requirements for having a computer was that it be set up in the living room with the monitor facing the couch, so that everyone who wanted to could see what someone was working on. He had gotten that tip from one of the many parenting books he had scavenged, and Venus found it nothing but annoying, which was one of the rare things she agreed with all her brothers about. At the moment, however, no one was around. That in itself was rather odd. The lair wasn't that big; where was everyone? Her eternal need to know where everyone in her family was at all times temporarily overruled her need to confront Splinter about this disturbing piece of information, and she wandered into the kitchen to see if anyone was there.

Mikey was, mixing something in a bowl. He grinned when he saw her.

"Hey, Vee. I'm making play doh. Want to play with me?"

Venus tried to be kind as she smiled and shook her head. Splinter had had a talk with her earlier that month after she'd gotten into a huge fight with Michelangelo and called him a baby; secretly, she still thought he was. It was as though he had stopped maturing at age eight, which was disgraceful considering he was twelve. But she had promised her father to try to be nicer to him.

"No, Mikey, not right now. I need to ask Splinter something."

She could see Mikey try not to let his face fall, and it did twist something in her stomach to know that she was the cause of his unhappiness. But what she'd said was true, and so she left the room before he could start wheedling her into playing with him. She wondered if that was where her other brothers were: hiding from Mikey and his play doh.

Raphael was the next brother she found. He was lying on his bunk, reading a magazine. He grunted when she came into the room but otherwise did not move or acknowledge her presence, and she briefly considered tackling him and trying to get him to wrestle with her. It was her favorite game to play with Raph, though lately Splinter had expressed mild disapproval whenever they did it. She wasn't sure why, and it made it a little awkward to be around Raph sometimes. She settled for flicking him on the head as she passed. He swatted at her, but did not look up.

Donatello and Leonardo were in Donnie's "lab." Venus was a little disappointed that Leo was there too. She loved teasing Donnie about calling a small storage closet a "lab," but Leo was such a killjoy about that sort of thing that she never did it when he was around. Not that she didn't like Leo. He was maybe her favorite brother, if she had to choose (some days she wanted to take the lot of them and drop them off at an orphanage). He was definitely the most mature, and he never teased her or acted stupid. Well, never was a relative term in this case. But he was the only one of her brothers who hadn't, not even once, made a snide remark about her being the weakest because she was a girl. Which was stupid, since she was tied with Leo for strongest. And she was better than him at meditation and Splinter was even starting to teach her astral plane stuff (not that she really understood it yet). Leo looked up briefly, giving her a small smile, and then went back to helping Donnie lay wires. Donnie didn't look up at all. She leaned on the doorway and huffed. She hated the way they all ignored her sometimes. She wondered if they did that to each other too, or if she got singled out. After a moment, she bounced herself up and stomped off to Splinter's room, trying to feel satisfied that she at least knew where all her brothers were.

Walking towards his room made her remember what she was going there for, and her stomach started to roil. She hated confronting Splinter. He was her favorite, even more than Leonardo (way more than Leonardo, who was really just okay in comparison to her other brothers). He always tucked her in at night and gave her a kiss on her forehead, to seal her safe in bed for the night. Her brothers had asked him to stop doing that ages ago, but she never had. Knowing he wasn't always her stern sensei, that he was also the soft furry comfort she had known as a small child, made her feel better. She knocked on the door, twice, and waited.

"Enter, my daughter."

He always knew who it was. She had asked him once, thinking he had some great magic power that only daddies had, and it had been a bit of a let down when he'd informed her he could smell them a mile away. She opened the door and knelt down before him. He smiled, as he always did when he saw her. She couldn't be certain, because he made sure they all knew he loved them the same, but she thought she was probably his favorite. Well. She was his only daughter. That was special.

"Master Splinter, I have a question."

"Of course, Venus de Milo. You may ask me anything."

That was one thing about him she was less than thrilled with. He called them all by their proper and full names, but on her it just sounded ridiculous. She had given up trying to get him to stop after she realized he was a little ashamed at the fact that he'd named her after a piece of art and not an artist. She didn't blame him, though. He couldn't have been expected to know that sort of thing back then, and she did like her name. Just not being called the whole mouthful all the time.

"Father, I was on the computer and… I came across a website."

She saw a brief flicker of something like panic in his eyes, but it was gone before she could be sure she'd seen it. He said smoothly,

"What sort of website?"

"It was about ninjas."

There—was that relief? She frowned, trying to remember what she'd come in here for.

"What about them, my daughter?"

"Well, it was about girl ninjas. _Kunoichi_. And…" She was suddenly shy. It seemed disrespectful, somehow, to speak of such things in front of Master Splinter. But she had to know. "And it said that their main job was… seduction."

He didn't move. He didn't speak. He just watched her, clearly waiting for her to go on. She set her mouth in a determined pout and met his eyes defiantly.

"But that's dishonorable. The website was wrong… wasn't it?" She was displeased to hear her uncertainty leak out and water down the certainty of her words. Splinter smiled.

"I have been wondering when you might learn of this tradition. Allow me to explain."

He settled himself into a more comfortable position, which meant it was going to be a long explanation. She followed suit.

"You and your brothers, especially Michelangelo, you sometimes watch movies with ninjas in them, yes?" She nodded. "And these ninja are not like you and I, or my Master Yoshi. I have explained to you that this is mainly movie trickery. But in truth, my daughter, there were such ninja at one point in history."

Venus' eyes widened again.

"You mean there really _were_ people who could fly and make copies of themselves and—"

Splinter held up a hand.

"Ah, no. That is still movie trickery. But there were historical ninja who performed assassinations and had no honor. And there were, at one time, female ninja who used their bodies to infiltrate their enemies' strongholds and gain intelligence."

The young girl blushed. Hearing Splinter talk about such things was just flat out embarrassing. Thankfully he went on.

"But that is not the heritage you and your brothers have been trained in. This 'historical' ninjutsu is actually a perversion of the true way of the ninja, which has been passed down from the Ninja Tribunal to many individuals throughout the centuries. Including, now, you. This way is a way of honor, of compassion and good, and in this tradition no difference is made between women and men. Indeed, the strongest member of the Tribunal in terms of physical strength is a woman. What you read on the computer does not apply to us."

Venus mulled over her father's words, trying to discern if he was being truthful. Well, Splinter was always truthful, but he did sometimes leave out big chunks of information if he felt he needed to. She suspected there was more he wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to accuse him of lying to his face. And anyway, he had answered her most important question.

"Thank you, father. I understand."

"I am glad to hear it, my daughter. I am proud of you. You are progressing well in your studies. Someday I know you will become a great warrior."

Venus smiled, and kept the words close to her heart for a long time.

* * *

_Yes, I do imagine Splinter owning as many parenting books as he could get his hands on. And reading them cover to cover. And marking them up with sticky notes and underlining passages and stuff. He may be wise, but parenting is _scary._  
_


	2. six of one, half dozen of the other

_Yeah, I went there. I hope this isn't too gross._

* * *

Venus woke up that morning knowing something was wrong.

For one thing, her stomach felt distended, like she'd eaten too much, even though she'd hardly touched dinner the night before because she hadn't been feeling well. In fact, she hadn't felt like herself for several days now. But this morning the feeling had reached a new high, and she spent almost an hour in the bathroom, ignoring her brothers' pleas to let them in, trying to figure out what was wrong. Eventually she gave up and went downstairs, asking Splinter for permission to sit out training. The concern in his eyes made her feel even worse, but he granted her request, and she spent most of the day lying on the couch, listening to her brothers' kiais and feeling generally miserable.

For lunch Mikey brought her a bowl of instant ramen, which Splinter always said was nothing like real ramen, but which had always been their comfort food when they were sick. She thanked him weakly, and the fear in _his_ eyes made her want to hit something. Her misery was beginning to make her irritable, or maybe whatever was causing her misery was also causing her irritability, but either way when dinner came around and she felt a little stronger, she sat down at the dinner table with the rest of the family and the first thing that came out of her mouth was,

"Mikey, why can't you act more your age!"

He'd only been reading a comic book, and had turned to say something to her, likely to explain the exciting plot twist in the issue he was reading. Something had flared up inside her, something a lot like rage, and she had spoken before she could think. And now her baby brother was looking at her like he was about to cry. If she'd been in her right mind, she would have relented, she would have apologized and tried to keep him from crying. But she wasn't in her right mind, and the impending tears only made her more mad.

"Oh, now you're going to cry, are you?" she said cruelly, in that tone of voice that from her meant instant funk. Any one of her brothers, upon hearing that Tone, would go into a depression that could last for hours, and it made her think they all secretly liked her a lot more than they let on. But that didn't mean she didn't wield it like a weapon, like her naginata or her tonfa. She went on. "If you stopped crying so much, maybe people wouldn't pick on you. You make me sick, you—"

"Venus de Milo, that is _enough_."

Splinter was there, using his own Tone, the one that was worse than getting yelled at. Venus physically recoiled, and then, before she could stop herself, leaned over and emptied the contents of her stomach onto the floor.

Instant flurry of activity. The ones closest to the torrent leaped to get out of the way, and Mikey actually got up and ran to his bunk, hiding under the covers like he was five years old. But Venus was too weak to care. She felt dizzy and sick, and her limbs shook like she had been doing pushups all day. It was all she could do to allow Splinter to hoist her up and lead her to the bathroom, calling over his shoulder for someone to clean up the mess. She felt a little bad then. Leo would probably end up doing it, responsible as he was, and she didn't deserve such big-heartedness. She hoped Mikey would let her apologize later. She realized she felt feverish, and suddenly a need came upon her, a need so strong that she whipped around without thinking, and made Splinter stagger back as she twisted out of his grip.

"I need…" But she had no idea what she needed. Splinter took her by the upper arms and practically marched her to the bathroom, where she proceeded to slip out of his grip again and take all the towels they owned, dump them on the floor, and scrabble around in them. Some part of her mind was dimly aware that Splinter was just standing there, staring at her, and had she not been so preoccupied with making the towels just the way she wanted them, she might have been afraid. Splinter _always_ knew what to do. Eventually she had them just right, and she stopped, breathing hard. A few higher brain functions came back, and she looked up at Splinter from where she was crouched over the towels, her mind marinating in fear.

"My daughter," he said, placing a comforting hand on her head, but then something tore inside, something starting in her stomach and going all the way down, and she grunted, her mind going away for a moment, and then she came back, panting and feeling slightly less like a melon had lodged itself in her middle. Splinter had that careful look on his face, the one he got usually before he didn't yell at you even though you deserved it. What had she done to give him that look? She looked down at the nest of towels (the word came in that instant, _nest_) and there was a small white sphere, the size of a golf ball, covered in a slime that was still clinging to her—

She snapped her gaze up to Splinter again, horrified. _Had she just laid an egg?_ Her father still had that careful look on his face, and she realized now that what it really meant was that he was controlling his emotions, that he was trying not to do or say what he really wanted to do or say. She opened her mouth to say something, but then Splinter looked swiftly over at the open bathroom door. She followed his gaze, more slowly, and found Michelangelo, holding a pill bottle in limp hands, his mouth open. For several seconds no one moved, and then many things happened at once.

The main one Venus remembered was bursting into tears, but she also recalled Splinter getting up and telling Mikey to go watch TV or something, and the thudding slap of his bare feet as he ran away. She heard the door to the bathroom close, and felt rather than saw Splinter kneel down next to her, holding her head close to his chest, so she could hear his heartbeat. She felt her stomach constrict again, and when she came back from the blankness she knew she had laid another one. How many eggs did she have inside her? Were they going to hatch into babies? Was she a mother now? She hadn't had sex, but maybe that was just how it worked for humans. Why was this happening to her? She wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility!

She was dimly aware, between black-outs, that she was whimpering, and that her fears were tumbling out of her lips. Splinter's voice penetrated the fear, then, and she heard the almost hypnotic murmur of comfort:

"No, my daughter, you are not a mother, they will not hatch, I have read in my book about turtles that females will sometimes lay unfertilized eggs. That is all this is. It is—they are like the chicken eggs that we eat—"

He cut himself even before she cried out, as though knowing that had been the wrong thing to say.

"Chicken—!" was all she could wail before another black-out hit her. The tears started up again, and she nuzzled her head into Splinter's soft fur, blacking out and panting with the effort of laying eggs. It hurt, it hurt so bad, and worst of all it was _humiliating._ Frightening. She was _laying eggs_, like a _chicken_, like a _freak_. Bad enough that she was green and only had six fingers, now she laid eggs too? And Mikey had seen her, and now she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to apologize to him because how could he even stand to _look_ at her after seeing that. She cursed her body for doing this to her, for being so _abnormal_. She cursed herself, and her ancestors, and the ooze and whoever had made it. She cursed and choked and cried, and blacked out again and again and again.

"Shh," Splinter said soothingly as she sobbed and sobbed, stroking her head with the soft pads of his fingers. "Shh…"

"I'm a _freak_," she wailed softly, after her stomach felt empty and no more black-outs came. She lacked the energy even to give her words volume. He shushed her again.

"You are no freak," he said firmly. "This is a natural part of life."

"But—" She heaved, and leaned over to the porcelain bowl and heaved again, trembling. Splinter stroked her carapace, murmuring softly.

"My daughter, my daughter, my beautiful daughter," he crooned, and she wanted to believe him. But turning to look at the pile of small spheres in the nest of towels behind her, she knew it wasn't true.

* * *

"Wow," April says appreciatively. Venus can't believe she actually told her that story. It had been hardly less embarrassing to recall than it had been to live through. "I'm jealous," her red-headed friend says, and to this she must protest.

"Jealous of _what_?"

"When I had my first period, I started bleeding in front of _the whole school_. It was awful! I was only twelve, and I barely knew what was going on anyway, and now _everyone _knew."

Venus makes a sympathetic noise.

"Why were you bleeding?" she asks. April looks at her strangely.

"Honey, that's what menstruating _is_," she says. Venus recoils in shock.

"What do you mean? You mean you bleed—often?"

"Every month."

Venus can only stare in awe. April takes pity on her and begins to explain how human females work. She feels bad that her main thought is how disgusting it the whole things is, and she starts to think maybe laying unfertilized eggs once a year isn't so bad after all. But what makes her smile as wide as she's ever smiled before in her life is the fact that April seems to regard her tale as the most natural thing in the world. Of course female mutant turtles lay eggs. Duh.

Venus wonders if she knows about churring. She doubts very much her brothers have told her. She will keep their secret… for now.

* * *

_If this didn't make you run away screaming, check out _Cosmopolitan_ by vashsunglasses, which is where I got the concept._


	3. casey the barbarian

When Raph tells them he's made a friend, Venus pretends to be totally uninterested, but she listens attentively as he describes the vigilante. Then she goes up to her room and takes down her secret sketchpad, the one even Master Splinter doesn't know about, and draws muscular men in loincloths with long flowing black hair until she gets it out of her system. When Raph announces that he's bringing him down to the lair, she makes sure her knee and elbow pads are clean, and actually washes her mask, which has been getting a little rank of late. Then she puts on some of the perfume April gave her when she admitted she'd never had anything really girly and impractical. She stands in front of the bathroom mirror a few minutes before Casey is supposed to arrive, wishing she had hair to brush or clothes to agonize over or _something_.

He's as handsome as she could have hoped for. No loincloth, but that had been a bit much to hope for. He does… smell a little, but he and Raph had been running around before they came down, so that's not a big deal. He certainly doesn't smell as bad as Mikey does when he forgets to shower for a few days at a time. Leo and Mikey both go up to him to be introduced, but she hangs back with Donnie, who isn't sure this is a good idea. Soon Raph turns to introduce them, and then Casey opens his mouth and says,

"Hey, Raph, I thought you said you had a sister."

Venus flushes. What does he mean by that? She's standing right in front of him. Raph gives him an odd look.

"I do, numbnuts. She's right there." He flings his arm out at her.

"Ohhhh," Casey says, and sticks his hand out. "Nice to meetcha."

Donnie, the one he is offering his hand to, goes tight with rage, and stomps away, slamming the door of his lab behind him. Venus can feel her lower lip quivering, but she will. Not. Cry. Casey falters and his hand drops.

"Uh…"

Raph smacks his own forehead.

"You bonehead, that was Donnie. Donatello. My brother. _That's_ Venus."

Venus allows him to apologize profusely and she even lets him shake her hand, but at the first opportunity she gets she flees to her room and tears out the pages of her sketchbook devoted to the barbarian warrior and tears them up.


	4. donatello, smith

_A naginata is a long spear-like weapon traditionally used by women._

* * *

Venus sits on her bed, sniffling. The pieces of her drawings are aflame in her incense burner, making the room smell slightly foul. It's a suitable compliment to her mood, she thinks, knowing that the thought is melodramatic. A knock at the door has her scrambling to compose herself. She cracks it open. It's Mikey.

"What do you want?" Her tone is meaner than she'd like, but she can't find it in her to be nice right now. Mikey holds up a bouquet of origami flowers.

"I made these for you," he says. She takes them, and lets him in. She is bribable, especially when one of her brothers stops acting like a jerk for two seconds together. Mikey skips in, bouncing down on her bed.

"That was the stupidest human I've ever met," he says, and Venus rolls her eyes.

"Mikey, he's practically the only human you've ever met."

"Well, he's dumber than April, that's for sure."

"April's a genius."

She sits next to him on the bed, and he puts his arm around her. She likes it when she can drop her guard around one of her brothers. It makes her feel like she isn't so lonely, even though most of the time they act like she's their personal verbal punching bag, or ignore her. They weren't always like that.

"Yeah, well, I think you're even prettier than April," Mikey says expansively. Venus snorts, the tears starting up again unbidden.

"Yeah, right. I don't even have any hair. Or breasts. Or even eyelashes."

"Of course not. You're a turtle. And you're a gorgeous turtle. The most gorgeous turtle ever. If you weren't my sister I'd marry you."

She finally giggles through her tears.

"Gross, Mikey."

"Hey, I'm just saying…" He gives her that million-watt grin, and she returns it with a watery one.

"Poor Donnie," Venus says, her own misery and her sympathy for Don clashing uncomfortably with her amusement at his predicament. Mikey laughs one of his belly laughs, a free, uncontrolled sound.

"And just when he got us to stop teasing him about being the purple one."

"Didn't you used to call him your second sister?"

"Only when he would cry," Mikey says, and then seems to sober slightly. "I never really thought he was girly, though. Not really. I just hated it when you'd make him cry." He looks up at her, slightly guiltily. "He pretty much only cried when you were mean to him."

Venus adds that to the pile of things to be miserable about.

"I…" She feels like she owes Mike an explanation for that, but there isn't one. Not a good one. Don just always got on her nerves in a way Mikey never could. Her little brother in orange may have been annoying, but that's just what he was, and it didn't personally offend her the way Donnie did when he… well, all the time, really. She frowns.

"I was pretty mean to him, wasn't I?" She can't remember ever apologizing for it, and she suddenly regrets that, intensely. Mikey gives her another squeeze.

"Don't worry about it. He knows you love him. And you've been a lot nicer lately."

"You mean I've been ignoring him lately," Venus says morosely. Is that all she can muster? Simply the absence of unkindness? She looks up at her wall to the naginata hanging there, and the tears start to flow again. "He never did anything to deserve it, either. I just…"

"You're just opposites," Mikey says, and she looks down at him in surprise. He continues, looking at the weapon, doubtless because he is remembering the same thing she is. "He wants to understand everything, and you're more content to just let things be the way they are. He's into science, you're into the mystical stuff. But you're really similar, too." He gives her a pointed look, as though to make sure she's paying extra attention. "You both want to use your skills to help our family."

Venus understands intellectually that Michelangelo is the same age she is, but it's times like these that she really knows it. She gets up and takes the weapon down off the wall, running her hand over the flat part of the blade. She performs a few moves, striking and blocking imaginary opponents, and then holds the weapon blade up again, tenderly.

"Did anyone ever take Donnie up on that techno-training thing he mentioned?" she asks distantly.

"No, I don't think so. Why?" Mikey looks eager, but Venus can't let him take too much part in this.

"Just wondering," she says, still studying the blade. "Just… idle talk."

* * *

_She never found out where Splinter got the metal from. And she never really understood how he and Donatello learned to forge in the first place. But on their thirteenth birthday, thirteen years since Splinter had found them in a shattered glass jar swimming in ooze, Donnie was the one who got to guide her in making her first real weapon. Splinter was helping Leonardo make his twin ninjato, and he had granted Donatello's request that he assist Venus in her task. The angles for a naginata blade were more complex than that of Leo's swords, and while Splinter was a competent smith, it was Donatello who truly understood the math behind it. She remembered his face, beaming with pride, indicating to her when to fan the flames, when to strike the metal, when to plunge it into water. He even showed her how to affix the blade onto the handle she had already prepared, and when she was done she remembered standing there with the long pole in her hands, feeling proud and grown up and deadly. This wonder of engineering and craftsmanship had not existed the day before, and yet now she held it in her hands ready to do battle with it. Splinter's words about knowing her weapon ran through her mind, and though she knew ninja did not have the extreme devotion to their weapons that the samurai did, she nonetheless felt a kind of kinship to this creation of wood and metal. _

_ She looked up to find Donatello watching her, and they shared a companionable look. He had finished carving his bo earlier that day, and he held his weapon with the same reverence she did hers. With their eyes locked for the moment, she realized that they had not fought or bickered all day. She gave him an awkward smile, and dropped his gaze in favor of her naginata. They spent the rest of the day in solemn meditation, and then ate a traditional Japanese meal that Splinter had used actual money to purchase, to break the fast they'd been keeping as they honed their spirits along with their weapons. None of them said much, even after their time of ritual silence was over, and they went to bed without a fuss that night._

_ Venus can remember clearly what it felt like to lie in bed, staring at her creation until she fell asleep._


	5. building and rebuilding

She sneaks into Donatello's lab, her posture falling disappointedly when she realizes he is deeply asleep. She would still get points from Splinter for sneaking up on him unawares, but the game doesn't seem so important now. He's been working overtime on the Battle Shell, turning an armored car into a mobile war machine. He has fallen asleep at his desk again, and sneaking up on him like this is hardly worth it. Splinter would disapprove of such a heavy sleep, allowing someone to approach him without his knowledge, but Venus decides to cut him some slack, thinking about Mikey's words. Though the Battle Shell is his baby, he's really building it for all of them. She gets a blanket from the other room and drapes it over his shoulders. It can't be comfortable, slumped over as he is, but she doesn't want to wake him by moving him—what's this?

She cranes her neck to see around his elbow and catches a glimpse of some sketches that have nothing to do with the Battle Shell. They look more like a naginata—a retractable one. She blinks. He had noticed?

As their trips to the surface got more and more frequent, Venus had encountered a hard truth: her naginata was entirely unsuitable for ninja stealth up above. Oh, yes, Splinter had warned her of this long ago, but she had loved the weapon so, and of course she was well trained on other weapons. She had stubbornly tried to justify it to herself and to Leo, even bringing up the matter of Donatello's bo, but the hard cold fact was that her weapon was a good eight feet long, and no amount of compensation could make up for the fact that she could barely make her way through the twisting sewer tunnels without banging it on something. She had finally given up and started carrying a pair of tonfa, and it was like leaving a part of herself behind every time she went topside. She didn't think anyone had noticed her misery or cared if they had. But this is evidence to the contrary.

The plans are still in the early stages, and there is a frustrated note written in Donatello's messy scrawl to the effect that the ridges caused by the retractability will hinder her during fighting. He's right, and so far he seems to have found no solution. But he's trying. She gives him a soft smile and leaves the lab as silently as she entered it.

* * *

Venus returns a few hours later with a bowl of macaroni and cheese. Donnie is still sound asleep, but it's nearing lunch time, and she has to wake him up. She nudges him with her foot.

"Donnie, wake up. Come on sleepy head, don't make me go to Splinter. He'll appoint you my slave if you're really this hard to wake up."

Her brother twitches, stirs, and launches himself out of sleep. Venus shakes her head and hands him the bowl.

"Eat up, geekoid. Splinter let you sleep in through morning practice, but you've got a private session with him in half an hour."

Donnie groans, leaning back in his chair and picking up the spoon. He eyes the orange substance warily, and looks up at her.

"Did you make this?" he asks suspiciously. Venus puts her hand on her upper plastron.

"Oh, Donnie, you wound me. My cooking isn't that bad."

He gives her a skeptical look. She relents.

"Mikey made it. Now eat up. Splinter's not mad, but he will be if you're late again."

Her brother tears into the food, and she stays, watching him. Halfway through the bowl he looks up and quirks his eye ridge at her.

"Do you need something?" he asks. She shrugs.

"Not really. Just wondering how the work is going."

"Fine, I guess." He watches her in return, and they engage in an impromptu staring contest. He wins.

"I saw your plans for the naginata," she admits, looking away. He looks away too.

"I just… you know."

"Yeah."

There is an uncomfortable silence. Venus tries to remember what her relationship with her brother was like when they were children, but the only positive memories she has are with her other three brothers. She feels a twinge of regret at this, but then tells herself that all it means it that this is building and not rebuilding. It will be harder, but perhaps also sturdier.

"Thanks."

He nods, a bit bewilderedly, and finishes his food. She takes the bowl from him, and nods towards the dojo.

"He's waiting."

"Thanks."

They part ways. Venus takes the dishes back to the kitchen and makes a mental note not to refuse Donnie the next time he asks for assistants on one of his all-night techno-parties.

* * *

_The boys not liking Venus' cooking is canon. Unlike nearly everything else. She's practically an OC by now. Must do something about that. _

_Also, this is it for a while. I think I have more, but this is a good place to end it for now. Thanks for sticking with me guys, even though Venus is one of the most hated TMNT characters out there. Even Peter Laird disowned her, poor girl._

_You guys are the best.  
_


	6. venus de milo, psychic

_I wanted to play around with Venus some more, so I gave her one of her canon powers: mind reading. And then Meg'd it up, of course._

* * *

It gives Venus quite a shock when she realizes her brother is jealous of her.

She first catches a glimpse of it after being released from a hug from her father. As usual, she is the only one he has embraced, and this is so commonplace that she is completely unprepared for the expression on Raphael's face as she turns. It is only there for a fraction of a second, but it burns itself into her memory, and she takes her leave, shaken.

Now that she is aware, she can see more and more.

Soft touches, a hand on a shoulder, a broader smile. Soon she can see it from an outside perspective as well as her own, and it tangles her up until she isn't sure what's real anymore. Is Splinter really being softer with her, more tender? He isn't any easier on her in the dojo as her sensei, but as her father… She remembers her child-like assurance that Splinter loved her best, and now she wonders with horror if it's true.

Her brother seems to think so.

Donatello gives no indication that he feels this way. In fact, they are becoming closer with every project she assists him with, and when they finally finish the retractable naginata, Donatello holding the object out to her in the glow of the forge, his face alight with a fierce grin, their sibling bond seems palpable. Mikey is her personal admirer and number one cheerleader, not even teasing her a little bit when she admits she'd like to try makeup. In fact, he is the one to encourage her to ask April about it, and while he does take pictures, he gives her the film. Leonardo is the leader, Splinter's second, and his most responsible child. He is in no danger of feeling less loved by Splinter because of her. But Raphael…

Raphael feels keenly that he is the least in Splinter's affections, and Venus can feel this like needles in her skin.

In fact, it soon becomes painful to be around Raph, and it isn't until they are paired together in sparring and she blocks a strike, forearm against forearm, skin touching, that she realizes she is actually feeling Raphael's emotions, and not merely guessing at them. She pauses, staring at him, and he notices her hesitation.

"What?" he growls, and she backs off.

"N—nothing."

She is distracted for the rest of practice, trying to understand what had happened. She could _feel_ what he was feeling as though they were her own emotions, except they weren't. Is that truly what had happened? Is she psychic? Is she going crazy? Splinter asks her to stay after practice.

"My daughter, something is troubling you."

Is _Splinter_ psychic? Maybe he knows what's going on. But she is reluctant to tell him what happened, if only because she's still not entirely sure that anything _did_ happen.

"I… I suppose so. I can handle it." She gives him a bright smile, and the guilt building in the pit of her stomach makes her vow to tell him the whole truth just as soon as she knows what that is.

* * *

It's not just Raphael.

Oh, he's the only one who is jealous (and she makes another vow to fix that, also as soon as she knows how) but he is not the only one she can feel. She feels like a mix between a spy and a scientist as she conducts sneaky experiments on her brothers, engaging in subtle and easily overlooked skin contact over the next few days.

She soon learns that the reason she could hear Raph first is because he _shouts_ his emotions such that practically anyone can hear them, freaky powers or not.

Leonardo is whispers and guarding walls, moats and barriers. She can barely feel him at all, even when he is being his least guarded.

Donatello is a dichotomy: sometimes he is orderly, like a book with a table of contents, and other times he is all over the map, to the extent that it is dizzying to be around him.

Michelangelo is like Tinkerbell: he only has room for one emotion at a time. It makes him restful to be around, because even though he is sometimes so bright it's hard to look at him, he is at least easy to get her head around.

Splinter is a mosaic she can't read.

At the end of a few days, she has discovered that it is not only emotions she can read, but some of the thoughts behind them. She is also getting better at interpreting what she feels, and needs less skin contact to do so. It is like her vision is sharpening, growing more focused. She is giddy with the knowledge that someday it will sharpen into full clarity and the people around her will be open books. Giddy with excitement and fear.

She goes to Splinter, unsure, and he encourages her to develop her talents.

"Father…" she says, when their conversation is over. She should be calling him sensei, but what she is about to ask him he would only grant her as a parent.

"Yes, my daughter?"

"Can you please… not tell my brothers? Not yet? I…"

She isn't sure why she's asking this, but to her surprise Splinter nods.

"I will, on one condition: that you do not keep this from them for long."

She nods in return, stomach churning. Truthfully, she wouldn't mind telling Donnie, or Mikey or even Leo. But Raphael will not take it well, that she is sure of, and she cannot tell three brothers and not tell the fourth.

"I will, father. I promise."


	7. enter bishop

That time comes sooner than she thought. The Triceratons are back, and in all the excitement she barely registers her new sense. But when she wakes up to find herself strapped to a dissection table (funny how she knows what it is without ever having actually seen one) she is suddenly straining as hard as she can to read the man in sunglasses who is currently holding a sharp, pointy instrument over her brother's plastron.

"How do you know Donnie's name?" Raph growls. "And the professor!"

"I know all your names, Raphael," the name in the sunglasses drawls. "And much, much more."

"And yet we know nothing about you," Leo says.

Venus can't hold it in any longer.

"He's terrified of us," she blurts out. She's been silent up until now, as she usually is on missions, because annoying as it is, to human eyes she looks male, and she has found it is simply better to let them assume. Only her voice gives her away.

"_He's_ terrified of _us_?" Mikey says incredulously. The man's eyes narrow.

"Well, not terrified in the sense of running away screaming," she says in a high squeaky voice that sounds nothing like she feels a ninja (even a girl ninja) should sound. "More like in the 'he's going to cut us open with buzz saws' kind of terrified."

"That's great, Vee," Raph drawls. "Tell me something I don't know."

"You sure know an awful lot for having just met me," the man rasps in a threatening voice. It is impossible to see his eyes behind his dark glasses, but his expression is forbidding. "Tell me, my dear, are you bluffing? Or can you actually somehow sense what I'm thinking? That would be… _interesting_."

"You strap us down because of the ones who strapped _you_ down, so long ago." She can't tell if she's putting on a show of bravado or if the words are simply bypassing her brain and coming out of her mouth unbidden. Either way, what she says is the truth, and now she knows the truth can be an even greater weapon than lies. "And it _was_ a very long time ago. Far longer than a man should live. You've been in pain for over a hundred years. You tell your superiors you want our DNA, but you really want revenge—revenge on the ones who cut you open and rearranged your insides—"

The man pulls out another strap, gagging her. He is tightly controlled, and on the surface he looks calm, but she can tell her words are affecting him. Her brothers are staring incredulously at her. She really hadn't wanted it to come out like this, but that's the least of her (and their) worries right now, and it is shoved to the back of everyone's minds when the buzz saw comes out. Then Splinter bursts onto the scene, and in the chaos Venus completely forgets what her brothers now know.

Raphael does not.

* * *

Now that Professor Honeycutt has been laid to rest, now that they are back in the lair and Casey and April have gone home, now that they are safe: that's when Raphael turns to her, his movements sharp, his anger and incredulity even sharper.

"Alright, Venus, now _spill_. What she _shell_ was that all about?" She doesn't have to ask what he means. She opens her mouth to lie, to tell him she had been bluffing, but Splinter is looking at her, and she knows the time for truth has come.

"Guys, I… I probably should have told you sooner, but… I…" She can't say it. She can't sit here and tell her brothers she can read minds. Never mind the fallout; it just sounds too silly even in her own brain. Luckily Splinter rescues her.

"My sons, your sister has recently developed the ability to sense the thoughts and emotions of those around her."

Donatello's reaction (namely, to rev up his brain and start thinking through theories and possible tests) is predictable and, because of that, almost comforting.

"Whoa, so that's how you managed to make Bishi-boy get all hot under the collar, huh?" Mikey is only impressed.

Leo narrows his eyes, but only in thought. She can feel nothing from him now, and she suspects it will be a long time before she ever does again.

Raph is already gone.


	8. this i can know for certain

Venus can't blame him. The things she learned from him before the secret came out were varied and unsettling. For him to know she can see into his inner self must be unbearable for him. Donatello attempts to cheer her up by subjecting her to a thorough scientific examination. He is radiating curiosity, as well as a slight sense of embarrassment at this fact, but she can tell he is being restrained compared to what he'd really like to do, so she lets him ask as many questions as he wants. Besides, it's better than thinking about Raph.

"Okay, now, I'm going to think of a number between one and ten, and you see if you can tell me what it is, okay?"

She nods absently, barely paying attention. She can feel him thinking, but it's not like she can decipher Donnie very well at the best of times. She knows there's detail there to be seen, as intricate and complex as a circuit board, but right now all she can see is gold squigglies on a verdant field that mean nothing to her except in vague impressions of broad strokes of emotions. She has no idea that he's even thinking of a number, much less which one.

"I don't know," she says. "It's not like I can read minds, exactly. Just… emotions and impressions. Sometimes if there's a specific reason behind what you're feeling, or a vivid memory I can sense that too, but…"

Don frowns thoughtfully and makes a note of that in his notebook. Venus is just glad he's in doctor mode and not mad scientist mode. It would be unsettling to be scrutinized like something in a petri dish. She wonders where Raph is and what he's doing, and then she feels Mikey's bright orange sun of a mind, radiating concern for his entire family. She turns to him, smiling.

"It'll be okay, Mikey," she says, and then her face drops when his does, realizing that displaying her powers so blatantly is probably not comforting. "Uh…"

Mikey gives her a huge grin, but it's only masking his confusion and fear, and he wanders quickly to the kitchen. She turns back to Donnie, forlorn.

"I think that's enough experimenting for today, bro," she says. He understands, though he's also worried for her.

"Of course. I don't want to push you. But… I mean, we need to figure out how this works so—"

"No, I _need_ to figure out how to get my brothers to stop being afraid of me!" She turns sharply and makes her way out of the lab, Donnie trailing after her.

"They're not afraid of you, they're just—"

"Just what, Don? This I can know for certain. They. are. afraid of me. And _you're_ having a hard time not seeing me as another experiment."

His face goes hard at that, and she wishes she could take it back. She turns away, feeling miserable and trapped. She didn't ask for this. And she doesn't even know how to turn it off yet. Splinter says there's a good chance she can learn how, but he has no more idea than her. So for now she has to endure the creepy-crawly feeling of her brothers being aware of her powers and wary of them—and by extension, her.

She leaves Don and goes to Splinter's room to meditate, and she stays in there for a long time.


	9. need some time

When Raph doesn't come back, Venus heads topside. She knows where he is, and she doesn't even need crazy mind powers for that.

Casey looks sheepish.

"I, uh… don't think he wants to talk to you right now, Vee," he says, hand on the back of his neck. He feels guilty for some reason, and extremely uncomfortable being caught in the middle of her family's problems, and there is that undercurrent of embarrassment he always feels around her. She rolls her eyes and pushes past him. She's not going to let Raph be a drama queen any longer. She finds him slumped in an armchair, and he flinches away from her. She remains steady, confident in the fact that if _she_ can at least keep up a front, he won't be able to tell she's sick and worried and scared.

"Come home, Raph. Splinter's worried." She doesn't say, _So am I_.

"You can tell him I'm at Casey's," he mumbles like he's doing her a favor. He's feeling trapped, and furious at himself and at the universe in general. He doesn't even want to be in the same room as her, and he hates himself for it. His emotions bombard her like fists.

"I'm not telling him anything," she snapped. "You're coming with me and you can tell him yourself where you've been."

He wants to yell at her, but she can feel him restraining himself. It kind of makes her sad. His guilt roils in her stomach until she wants to be sick. She'd always wondered why Raph was such a live wire, and now she realizes that he's actually very restrained. He feels things so strongly she's not sure why he's still sane.

"Leave me alone, Vee."

She isn't sure whether to be angry or saddened by his low, tired tone. He _should_ be shouting at her.

"Raph…" She'd kind of been counting on it, in fact. She has no idea how to deal with him like this. She kneels down by the armchair.

"It's not like…" _It's not like I can dig into your brain like an archaeologist and have my way with your thoughts and memories. It's not like I'm reading your mind on purpose. You're the one shouting at me all the time, and it's driving me as crazy as it's driving you._ "It's not like you can stay here forever."

"'m'not." He gets up from the armchair and paces restlessly, twirling his sai. She sighs and takes the armchair for herself. He continues to pace, and she can feel him building up to say something. "Just need some time."

_Time to get used to his freak of a sister._ The fact that "freak" is her thought, not his, is not comforting. She gets up, moving angrily to the window.

"And you think you can get used to me here?" She knows she's going to freak him out, doing that, but she doesn't really care anymore. Raph always was a sink or swim kind of learner. "You think running away is going to fix anything?" Now she's just pushing his buttons, but she doesn't care about that either. "I didn't take you for a coward, Raph."

That does it. He whirls to face her, eyes sharp, emotions hot and blazing. He's _pissed_.

"I'm not a coward!" he shouts, raising his fists, though she knows he's not even aware he's doing so. "This ain't about being afraid! Dammit, if you can read minds, you should know what this is about."

She faces him, matching him stare for stare, aggression for aggression. "But I _can't_ read minds, Raph. Not like that. I get… impressions. But I don't rummage around people's heads like in some sci-fi movie. _I'm not a freak!_"

She's not pushing his buttons on purpose this time, even though the phrase will do so. His anger drops away, blood draining from his face, and she lets the tears come.

"I know… I know that's how you think of me now." She hates sounding so weak, especially in front of Raph, who hasn't been anything like her friend since they were eleven. They'd grown apart, after being nearly inseparable. She hates that. "But I'm not…"

_Guilt guilt guilt._ That's all he feels now. It hurts, and she flinches. _How does he pretend so well that everything is normal? Except he doesn't, not really…_ She swallows and turns to the door.

"I'll give you time," she says, hoping the tears don't bleed through into her voice. He doesn't follow, and she's not surprised.


	10. it aches sometimes

He faces his fears.

She hates being one of them, but it's nice to know he's not going to run away from her. She hadn't meant it, before, but it had been a real fear. That she was too strange, too much, and he wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore.

But here he is, sitting in front of her,

"I talked to Don," he says. No preamble. Never with him. "He says you can't help it. Readin' us." He fidgets. She doesn't dare look away, or even move. "You gotta promise me one thing," he says urgently, looking up from his fingers and locking eyes with her. "Don't… don't ever tell no one. What you… read. Not even Splinter."

That makes her angry, that he would even think such a thing, but the time for anger is not now. She swallows the bitter pill and says only,

"I promise."

And he relaxes, for the first time in days. She wishes she could.

* * *

Of course, it worries him, when he sees her using her powers on their other siblings.

"Don thinks the whole thing is a science experiment anyway," she explains. "It's just another chance to gather data. And Leo's so hard to read it's kind of a victory to be able to get anything out of him. He only sees it as more motivation to train. Mikey just thinks the whole thing is a comic book. He even calls me Jean Gray. None of them mind." She puts a hand on his shoulder. "But you do. So I don't do it with you. Okay?"

"Whatever." She can tell he's relieved. Then the agitation is back. "Vee…"

It's about Splinter, whatever it is. Oh. Yeah. The thing that started everything.

"I don't know, Raph," she says, turning away. "He loves you, you know that. I don't know if I'm his favorite. I don't think Splinter _has_ a favorite."

She's made him even madder by doing that, and for once she didn't mean to.

"Well, that's just peachy for you to say," he growls, eyes narrowing. "You're not the big screw up of the family."

"Raph, you are not the family screw up." She's exasperated now. "That would be Mikey and you know it."

"No, Mikey's the family baby."

"We're all the same age!" She flings up her hands. It's like he's determined to have the whole world against him, and even her new powers can't tell her why. "Raph, if you're so worried about it, go talk to him. It's Splinter! Like he'll care."

"I can't walk in there and ask him if he hates me."

"Yes, because then he'll call Donnie in to examine your head. Splinter. Doesn't. Hate you. None of us do! You're frustrating as shell sometimes, sure, but you're still our brother."

"And would you even give me the time of day if I _weren't_ your brother? If I was just some stranger who acted like this?"

"Oh, I get it. You're having a pity party, and you invited me. Well, forget it Raph. If you're so intent on believing we hate you, you can go do that on your own."

She moves to walk away, and a wave of deep, black misery washes over him. It's perhaps the blackest depression she's felt from him since her inner eyes were opened, and she turns slowly back to face him. It's his biggest fear, she remembers now. Being left alone. The look on his face is stubborn, but it hides a well of fear—no, _terror_—that leaves her breathless. Slowly, like she's approaching a wild animal, she puts an arm around her brother, and he leans into her, slightly, as much weakness as he will ever show. When he's calmer she murmurs into his ear,

"I can't read Splinter very well yet. He's… really complex. But I do know that he loves you, so deep it aches sometimes. Just like with all of us."

He doesn't say anything. A few moments later he emerges from the embrace, scowling deeply, mask stained with tears. He holds her gaze for a moment, and walks away. Venus smiles after him, feeling his fires damp down and give way (for a moment, only ever for a moment) to peace.


	11. black balloon

_Please check out the new author's note at the beginning of this fic._

_(I don't think this is exactly what you had in mind, Sasami, but props for guessing anyway. ^_^)_

* * *

As Raph slowly becomes convinced of the fact that Splinter's favoritism is mostly in his head and spring grows ever closer, another, darker fear blooms in the back of his mind, one that seems to follow him everywhere like a black balloon: the fear that Venus will realize what happens during the month before she lays her clutch.

It finally gets to her one night, while she is on the couch reading and Raphael is across the room trying to shove all his problems into his punching bag. The thought keeps circling in his mind, followed by desperate attempts to shove it away, a cycle as dizzying as a whirlpool. Finally Venus can take no more and she slams her book shut and shouts,

"For heaven's sake, Raph, I _already know!_"

He whirls around to stare at her, horrified, as do her other brothers, and she growls in exasperation.

"I'm going to April's," she announces, as Don pokes his head out of his lab, and Splinter opens his door. She grabs her naginata, not her tonfa, and she knows that this fact is noted and weighed for its significance, and it is this that makes her slam the blunt end of her weapon into the door switch _hard_, the plastic casing cracking as the door heaves open.

* * *

April's mind is relaxing to be around. Her worries are mostly mundane, and she has accepted the existence of mutant turtles so thoroughly that there is not even the jolt of unreality that most of their other friends experience every time they see them. She's washing dishes when Venus comes in, and allows her to slip in to the routine without much more than a friendly smile and a mental guess that the cause of her visit and her mood is likely related to her brothers. Drying plates and stacking them soothes Venus as much as doing a kata might, and when the dishes are done she moves on to wiping down the countertops without being asked. April starts to make tea and gets out a couple of cookies, setting them on a newly cleaned plate. Venus sits down at the table and sighs.

"Boys?" April asks, feeling sisterly as she says it.

"Boys," Venus agrees, appreciating the feeling. She bites into a cookie and speaks through a mouthful. "I feel like the freaking Thought Police sometimes."

April tries to imagine what it must be like to live with someone who can read minds, decides she's glad she doesn't, and tries to think of something to say that will comfort Venus.

"I didn't know you'd read _1984_," she says, stalling for time. Venus lets her.

"Last week's English homework. We had a big discussion about the Thought Police, and now that's what Mikey calls me. The worst part is they're all thinking the same thing."

April can't help it— she laughs. Venus only sees the irony in her statement because April does, and she smiles wanly, taking another bite of the cookie.

"How's the training going?" April asks once she stops laughing. Venus knows she means trying to keep from reading minds if she doesn't want to, and slumps down to rest her chin on the table.

"Not so good. The more I meditate, the more I can read. So far the best method I've found is to just forget everything I hear."

"Hm." April wishes she could help the turtle she thinks of as a little sister, but secretly thinks if she just keeps training hard enough Splinter will be able to do something magical. Venus bites a chocolate chip off her cookie and sucks on it, and wonders if she can get away with spending the night here.

"April, what should you do if you know something bad is going to happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it?"

April's thoughts immediately churn out memories of the invasion and a horrified premonition that some similar catastrophe is about to occur. Before she can stop herself (before April has shown any sign of these thoughts) Venus waves her hand and shakes her head.

"No, no, no, nothing like that." April tries to ignore the surge of discomfort at seeing Venus' obvious display of her abilities. The turtle ducks her head, feeling more like a freak than ever. Trying for some semblance of normal conversation, April asks,

"Could you clarify a little?"

"Um…" Venus wonders how much she knows about turtle physiology. "Spring is coming…"

April has no idea what she's talking about for a few seconds, and then her brain starts churning as fast as Donatello's sometimes goes, at the speed that reminds Venus of the fact that her friend is in fact something of a genius, and in the end she comes to something close enough to the truth that it will do.

"Venus, you know you can come over any time you need to, day or night."

Venus nods. April's voice (and her offer) are comforting. But—

"But what should I _do_?" She runs her bandanna tails through her hands. "I mean, nothing has changed, really, except that I can… I mean, I can act normal and so can they, and it shouldn't—I mean—"

April notes the way she's fingering her bandanna as a nervous habit she's developed lately, and she drops it and laces her fingers together in her lap instead.

"Are you sure you don't want to just move in here, Vee?" April's tone is light, amused, but her mind is spitting out dark, nightmarish thoughts that she keeps pushing away. Venus tries to ignore them too. April's offer is sincere, and it surprises Venus to find that it is actually tempting.

"I don't know," she says miserably, her own brain spinning: stay or go, miss her family or miss the torture, change her relationship with her brothers by leaving, or change it by staying. She takes another cookie, and April plans to have a conversation with Splinter. Venus decides to let her.


	12. steel wrapped in silk

Splinter orders her to go.

It is one of those orders that is like steel wrapped in silk. It sounds like a request, but disobedience is unthinkable. She bites her lip against her protest, and nods. Splinter relaxes marginally, and she is still not quite skilled enough to be able to see what shape his fears are taking. Just that they are there, and that sending her away is the only relief he can imagine. She is given two weeks to pack and say goodbye (not coincidentally, the two weeks until spring), and then she is expected to spend all her time at April's, only seeing her brothers for practice and movie nights, where discipline and supervision can be assured. It is for her own protection, but it feels like she is being banished.

* * *

Mikey comes to her first, after the news gets out. She didn't want to be there when Splinter told her brothers, and his is the first fist to knock on her door after the announcement. She opens it a crack, and he's holding an origami turtle, the same orange as his mask. _So you can remember me_, he is thinking. She takes it and closes the door.

Don gives her a tassel the color of her own mask to hang on her naginata, for much the same reason.

Leonardo, displaying his usual insight but a surprising amount of delicacy, gives her a sketchbook. The first page is already marked with her name in Japanese done in elegant characters.

Raph avoids her until she is literally about to leave, and then punches her in the shoulder. The bruise won't last as long as the other gifts, but she will treasure it just as much.

* * *

April apologizes that she will have to sleep on the couch, and mentions maybe getting a couch bed, but after a moment or two she senses Venus' mood and leaves her alone.

She doesn't sleep that night.


	13. rebellion

The first practice after that is… strange. The idea of commuting farther than downstairs to the dojo is a pain, in addition to making her feel disconnected from her own life. They don't spar that day, and Venus feels a bubble of frustration rising in her chest as her brothers try to pretend everything is normal when they can't stop obsessing over how everything is different. After practice Splinter gives her a look that she doesn't need mind powers to interpret as "go away," though being able to read his thoughts means she at least knows to soften it to "please don't make this difficult by staying."

When she returns to April's she is already downstairs in the shop, which means Venus gets the shower— and the entire hot water heater— all to herself. For some reason she still rushes through it as though she is trying to save hot water for the next brother in line.

She wastes a little time doing the dishes, then flips on the TV and quickly finds that even the noise of The Price is Right is not enough to disguise the fact that the apartment is empty. She has no idea what to do with herself all day without her brothers being busy around her, and when she tries to remember what she used to fill her time with, she can't think of anything. She turns off the TV and the silence is oppressive. She texts Mikey.

_whats up?_

Does his response come too fast, or is she imagining it?

_nuthn wats goin on w u?_

_nothing_

His next response takes a few minutes.

c_an i call u?_

_ ok_

She waits for the ring, a little apprehensive. Does he just want to talk because he misses her, or is something wrong? Is the thing that's wrong the fact that he does miss her, and does she want to deal with that right now? Even though she's expecting it, the ringtone startles her.

"Hey, Vee."

"Hi Mikey." There's a pause, and then Mikey says quickly,

"Raphie wants to talk to you!" In the background she can hear her other brother protesting,_ No I don't!_ But the noise on the phone suggests that a wrestling match is going on, and in the end Raph's gruff voice comes on the line, Mikey crowing triumphantly in the background.

"Hey, Vee."

"Hi, Raph." She has to concentrate on not giggling. There's an awkward pause, and she tries to think of something to say, something to keep him on the phone with her, keeping the silence at bay. "Are you doing anything with Casey tonight?"

"Yeah, we were gonna—" He cuts himself off, and then continues in a dejected tone, "We were gonna swing by April's."

The implication is clear: _but we can't because you're there._

"Okay," Venus finds herself saying. "I'll see you then."

The silence across the phone is shocked, and then Raph says stiffly, "Yeah, sure," and just like that they are plotting to disobey Splinter and Venus can't find it in herself to be sorry.

* * *

April doesn't say anything when Raph climbs in the window as Casey walks through the door, but she does look at the turtle askance and then gives Venus a look she would have a hard time interpreting if she wasn't psychic. As it is, she knows April hasn't made up her mind yet about whether to allow this, but figures it will be okay this time, especially since she and Casey are there. Then she mentally edits that to, _since _I'm_ here, anyway_, and Venus can't help the snort of laughter that escapes her. Raph nudges her and tells her to shush, the movie's starting, and she teases him about being as uptight as Leo when he's not around to fill the uptightness quota, and though the banter is a little forced, they are both relieved that it is as normal as it is. Venus knows it will be harder to say no next time, and she pretends to herself she doesn't care.


	14. ice cream

Each of them finds a way to sneak over unbeknownst to Splinter during the next three weeks, and in the thrill of rebellion it takes Venus longer than it might have to notice that it's starting. The one to bring it to her attention, naturally, is Raph.

She can't remember later what they were doing, but one moment he is thinking about something normal, and then the next his mind is aflame and before she can process what she's seeing he is gone, the curtain fluttering in April's open window.

She sits at April's table, a spoon in her hand, an empty bowl in front of her with smears of whatever she'd been eating still left in it. After a moment the spoon clatters out of her hand and onto the table, leaving a sticky spot where it lands. The sludge still left on the spoon slides out and onto the table, pooling around the handle. It hardens as it evaporates, growing less and less shiny until it's crusty and hard and will be nearly impossible to clean.

It was ice cream, she remembers. They'd been eating ice cream.

* * *

She texts Mike asking them not to come over anymore. He doesn't text her back, and they don't come over. When she asks Splinter if she can skip practice he lets her, and she spends the day lying face down on April's bed, trying not to think.

When April comes into the room planning on trying to talk to her, Venus tells her flat out to leave her alone. She comes back later, bringing food, her plan now to let Venus come to her. Venus doesn't move as April sets the tray down and closes the door behind her, and she doesn't eat, instead watching the food grow cold. Later that evening she hears April call Splinter, and she buries her head under a pillow and tries desperately not to overhear. By the time she lets herself up for air, April has gone out, and Venus gets up, deciding that maybe the time for melodrama is over and it's time to start thinking about rejoining the living world.

Then she hears Casey Jones coming up the stairs, and decides maybe she was premature in that decision and goes back to bed.

* * *

"Vee?" He knocks on the door to the bedroom, after searching the apartment for her, and she stays silent, hoping he'll go away. "Vee? I know you're in there." So much for that idea. He continues in more of a mutter, "At least I'm pretty sure you are, I mean, you _are_ a ninja, so who knows, but your spear thing is still here, so I'm pretty sure you are too."

_Naginata_, she thinks fiercely, but he's already going on in a louder voice:

"Anyway, I wanted to talk to you—" and his mind jumps ahead to what he wants to talk to her about, and Venus leaps out of bed, shoving the door open and knocking into Casey Jones.

"No!" she screams, shoving him again. He's nearly down, having been knocked off balance twice, and she sends him all the way down with another shove. "I don't want to hear it! I don't care if this happens to humans too, I don't care if I'm the only girl, it's happening to _me_ and I _hate it_ and I _don't want to talk about it!_"

Casey is staring up at her, mind a total blank as he tries to process what just happened. Before he can collect himself, she grabs her naginata, the light blue tassel an affront she can't bear to tear off, and disappears out the window herself.


	15. venus de milo, mutant turtle

She runs to Leatherhead's place and he doesn't ask questions. It's soothing to have him feel parental as he carefully doesn't ask her what's wrong, and even better is the fact that he doesn't even know enough to guess. After drinking the glass of water he had offered, she says in an uncertain voice,

"Leatherhead? How do you—I mean, you're—" She falls silent and tries to think of a tactful way to ask her question, and also of what question it is she wants to ask. "Your temper…"

"How do I control my temper?" he supplies gently, and she shakes her head slightly.

"Not that. I mean… it isn't just that you get really mad. Your—your animal side—"

He understands what she's not asking and she shuts up, studying him, settling into the odd feeling of being able to see what she looks like to Leatherhead as she looks at him in return. She seems so young to him despite the fact that he is not that much older than she is, and he is considering the best way to answer her question. She finds something of an answer in the words he discards, but she lets him put his thoughts in order without interrupting him.

"It is true that I am sometimes frustrated by the dual nature of my being, Venus. I admit I find it a little unfair that somehow you five have been spared this curse, but I suppose it is simply that my animal side is crocodilian and yours is terrapin. It is natural that your natures would therefore be more peaceful. As for how I deal with it…" He turns away, the talk not going quite as he had planned in his head. "Sometimes I am not sure I can. But when I despair, I remember that I have you six: that I have my family."

Venus quirks her mouth down, turning the empty water glass over in her three-fingered hands.

"What if your family is the problem?" she asks petulantly.

Leatherhead considers this, running through different possible scenarios of sibling trouble, and then decides that since she has chosen not to divulge the details of it to him, the best thing is to—

Venus snaps her head up to look him in the eye as he decides to share something deeper with her.

"Sometimes when the comfort of this family is not enough, I cling to the memory of the Utroms, and the gift they gave me. They took a mindless animal and turned me into a man, and if the price of intelligence is that I have to contend with the beast inside me, it is a price I will pay willingly."

Venus stares up at him, wide eyed, feeling her mind rearranging itself. She, like her brothers and their father, had always simply accepted the fact of their existence as a happy accident, a quirk of fate they could not understand and did not need to. They had never given much thought, even after the particulars of their creation had come to light, to what their origins _meant_. Donatello had pointed out the connection to the Shredder that it indicated, and they had all tried not to think about it after that. But Leatherhead is offering her a different perspective: but for a chance of fate, she might have been a pet shop turtle, living peacefully but ultimately without purpose in some kid's aquarium, and the eggs she laid might easily have hatched into young, for what would her turtle self have cared? She swallows, and thinks about the price of intelligence and self-awareness, and is grateful when Leatherhead pats her gently on the shoulder and leaves her to her thoughts.

* * *

She calls Casey to apologize, and then calls Splinter so he can call off the search for her.

Then she steels herself and calls Raph before she loses her nerve.

"Hey, Raph." The only sound on the other end of the line is his breathing, but he hasn't hung up yet, and that is a victory. Now if only she could figure out what to say. "Um… I'm not, you know, mad or anything. At you." A pause, and then he grunts in an affirmative way. She smiles and relaxes. "I'll see you at practice tomorrow." Another grunt, and they hang up. Venus smiles at Leatherhead, who smiles broadly back, and the fact that it is filled with teeth is not frightening at all.


	16. venus de milo, reptile

_Takes place during Venus' stay at April's. It's... more or less canon to this story. Believe it or not, this is a Stealthy Stories challenge._

* * *

"Venus, honey? Can you do something for me?" April's voice is tremulous and weak, and Venus is at her friend's bedside in an instant.

"What is it? Are you okay? You look awful."

"Thanks," the redhead says wryly, and Venus mutters an apology.

"Seriously, though, are you sick? I can make you some tea, or some soup if you want."

"Maybe, but first can you go to the store for me?"

Venus stares. "Uh… I'm pretty sure you have the ingredients for soup, and Splinter has stuff for tea if that's what—"

"No, I'm sorry sweetie, it's not that. I'd ask Angel, but she's in school, and Casey's at work. You can just slip in and out in heavy clothes, right?"

"Uh. Yeah." The idea makes her nervous, but she won't admit it. What scares her more is that April's mind is so fuzzy she hasn't given Venus a clue about what's wrong yet.

"I need to you get some… what's the word… tampons."

Venus' brain revs, sputters, and dies.

"Some what?"

"Tampons. I mean, pads would work too, but I like tampons better. There's some money in my purse. You can take a five or a ten and get whatever you want with the rest."

"What're, um. Tampons."

April's brain is now the one stalling, but it catches after a moment and she shakes her head apologetically.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I forgot you don't know. Remember when I told you about menstruation?"

Venus' brain gives another cough, another sputter, and then dies again.

"Uh. Oh. Right. Yeah, I can do that," she agrees, thinking that she would rather wander the isles looking for the right word rather than get a description.

"Thanks, Vee. I wouldn't ask if I had anyone else to go, but I'm having cramps so bad I can't get up. Could you hand me the bottle of Advil before you go?"

Venus does so, and then piles on the clothes, all the while thinking the only coherent thought she can: _Mammals. Ugh._


	17. psychic, reprise

_Growing Up Sister was nominated for Best Alternate Universe over on Stealthy Stories! Thank you so much! Please go vote, it doesn't have to be for me. ^_^  
_

* * *

The worst part about being able to read minds, Venus is sure, is that people are _always thinking._

She'd known her brothers well enough before the changes started that there really are no deep secrets to be found this late in the game, though Mikey is always afraid she'll raid his candy stash and he keeps moving it. She lets him, secure in the knowledge that he doesn't have an inkling where hers is. Splinter's mind is still layered enough that she can't read him very well, and though some of the things she is able to read make her nervous, they are nothing very shocking. _Of course_ her father worries about her and her brothers constantly, of _course_ he fearfully imagines them dead or wounded all the time, it's not like this is a _surprise_. She is mostly able to ignore the discomfort this causes and concentrate instead on being annoyed at the constant barrage of stupid, uninteresting, mundane thoughts that flit through people's minds.

She'd had no idea people thought so much about themselves. As her powers refine, and she is able to pick up things that are more and more subtle, she is treated to five monologues about shell comfort, feet falling asleep, small worries about muscle bulk and possible ligament tears, farts being noticed, itches scratched or not scratched, lots of math (mainly from Donnie) and tails.

Oh heavens, Venus had never wanted to know as much as she does about tails. Even Splinter worries about his, whether Klunk might actually catch it this time, keeping it from getting caught in doors, and lashing it for effect when he was angry or irritated, which Venus had not known was deliberate until he caught the five of them painting the walls in bright stripes the colors of their masks. Her brothers, though, think about theirs more or less _constantly_, and after a while she realizes (with Casey's unwitting help, which is even _worse_), that they are not crazy or obsessed: they are just boys.

She'd always disliked _living_ with only boys (had, in fact, longed for a sister ever since she was old enough to understand the concept of gender), but being able to read their minds, too, is a new low.

* * *

"Will you just go blow your nose, Mikey? Sheesh!"

"Whaaaaat?" Her brother does not pause the game, and she growls in frustration.

"Or quit thinking about that booger in your nose, one of the two."

Mikey laughs, and she shoves him with her foot as he proceeds to think about nothing _but_ boogers (and his video game).

"You'll have to excuse him, Vee," Donnie says, gearing up for his favorite joke, "He was raised in a sewer." He frowns when he realizes Venus had said it along with him.

"Yes, yes," she says wearily, "Very hilarious."

"Vee!" Raph calls irritatingly from across the main chamber.

"No!" she calls back. She can hear him stop lifting weights.

"What? I didn't even ask you yet."

She waits for him to remember that he doesn't have to, and then says,

"The answer's still no."

He feels a flash of irritation, but manages to keep it down, and gets up to fetch his towel himself. Mike goes back to his video game, Don goes back to his welding, Raph goes back to lifting weights, and Venus goes back to her breathing exercises. Not that it does any good. Mike is still annoyed by the booger but unwilling to get up and take care of it, Don is wondering if he's been getting enough sleep and if another cup of coffee is worth interrupting his work for, Raph is still seething about Venus' display of her powers in between worrying about getting too muscle-bound, and all of this is extremely clear to Venus, who is getting ready to scream.

Then Leo walks into the lair, and she does.

Her brothers all stare at her, but the one she opens her eyes to look at is Leo, who is frowning deeply, thinking scarily accurate thoughts about Venus' level of control over her mind-reading powers. Venus herself is annoyed that Leonardo is _still_ trapped in the vicious cycle of thoughts that has dominated his mind since their defeat of the Shredder, and at the moment it's one more annoying thought on top of too many annoying thoughts, not to mention growing increasingly scary all on its own.

Venus gets up before Leo can launch into another tirade about training and goes up to the warehouse, her only haven.


	18. venus de milo, kame hime

Venus isn't exactly surprised when Splinter announces that she is going with Leonardo to train with the Ancient One, whoever that is. But she is as unhappy about it as her brothers, if only for different reasons. Being around Leo is painful these days, and despite Splinter's reassurances that the Ancient One will be able to help her block out the minds of those around her, she does not look forward to a two-month boat ride with only Leo for company.

"Father—"

"Venus de Milo," her father rebukes her sharply, and she knows, among other things, that his reprimand is partly for calling him father when he is acting as her sensei. "You are getting worse. It is plain for me to see. Even your brothers have noticed. I fear that only the Ancient One can help you, my daughter, just as he is now the only one that can help Leonardo. Besides," he says, forestalling another round of protests on her part, "your brother is in a vulnerable place. He needs at least some of his family with him as he struggles, and I also trust you to know when _not_ to interfere in that struggle."

He doesn't trust her (or Leo) nearly as much as his words would imply, and it doesn't help that Splinter is nearly as terrified as she is at the idea of two of his children crossing the ocean and navigating a strange country on their own. The image in his head is of placing a great burden on his only daughter's shoulders, but Venus feels more like she is suffocating. Whether the suffocation feels more like being miles below the surface of the ocean or in the middle of space depends on which terror she is currently contemplating: the thought of staying here, her powers growing more and more out of her control, presses in on her like water; but the thought of leaving everything she has ever known makes her feel like she is in a vacuum with no rescue in sight.

She and Leo leave in the middle of the night, both of them feeling like traitors and runaways, and for the next two months they barely speak ten words to each other.

* * *

The fat little man nods in satisfaction at Leo's abbreviated answer, and then turns to Venus, who, so far, has felt like the biggest third wheel ever.

"And you, kame-hime." He has called her that since they met, (since before she could speak and reveal her gender), and its use is as sarcastic as calling Leo kumquat. "You have a rather different problem than your brother, yes?"

"Yes, sir," she says, still wary of a new human, still homesick, still bothered that she can't read this man's mind _at all_.

"Well," he says distractedly, "We'll figure something out."

His tone is flippant, and he clearly doesn't give a damn about her problems, and Venus finds herself caught in a surge of anger which she wraps like red hot metal around the spear of her mind, and with it, her anger and her powers working in tandem, she pierces his defenses, and for just a moment…

Then his wall is back up, and she feels weak and tired, and her only comfort is that one of the things she saw was that he does care, cares too deeply, so deeply he has to hide it away lest it consume him.

His piggy eyes are pleased, and for the first time since coming here (since leaving home, since realizing Leo had become someone else, since gaining her powers) she feels peace.

* * *

_Well, folks, this is it. I'm very pleased to announce that Growing Up Sister won 3rd place for Best Alternate Universe over at Stealthy Stories, and it never would have gotten this far without all of you fine people. Thank you. This will be the last chapter in the main story, though I still have a few side stories I'll post now and then. I'm sorry to see her go, and I had a lot of fun writing her, but Venus has had her day, and it's time to move on. Thank you again._

_-Meg_


End file.
